Rock n' (Pork) Roll

Have you ever wondered what pork roll is? Have you ever wondered what a hot dog is made out of? Let's stop there, before things get too far too soon. You see, pork roll may technically be pork, but it also may contain something else entirely: magic!

The words mystery and meat often go together with a negative connotation, but in pork roll's case, it's a tantalizing delight! On many breakfast tables, bacon and sausage rule the roost; occasionally a steak may rear its head against some fried eggs, and scrapple does make the cut now and again. But let pork roll poke its snout in there once in a while, and before long you'll be hooked.

Pork roll is a fascination to watch. Out of the package, it bears a resemblance to Canadian bacon: round, sliced, and bologna-like. But watch it cook! Throw it in a greased pan or in a microwave on HIGH, and it bells up like the bottom of a plunger, sizzling and smelling like a slice of heaven. I tend to make an radial incision to prevent too much belling; I like my pork roll flat!

Just one bite makes one experience sweet, salty goodness; much milder than that of bacon, more subtle than sausage or scrapple, more succulent than steak - you've got the fever: Pork Roll Fever!

(While it is not the policy of BM to endorse any one product over another, this reporter does enjoy Taylor's Pork Roll as his pork roll of choice - it's my czjauhn!)

Scrapple: Myth vs. Reality

To many, scrapple is a dark, vile, breakfast mystery meat, endlessly passed over in the grocery aisles, shunned on diner menus, and picketed at the processing plants. Over the years, scrapple’s reputation has been tarnished by so much bad information. It’s time to set the record straight, and bring the love back to scrapple by setting the BM spotlight on some harsh myths perpetuated by the haters:

Myth: Scrapple is just horrible meat scraps left over from the slaughter machines pressed, packaged, and sold on the open market to fools.

Reality: Although scrapple is technically made from such previously thought unusable meat leftovers as pig snouts and hooves, cow necks, chicken feet, and a variety of gizzards and tongue parts, there are craftspeople who carefully devise the correct portions of these items into a creatively concocted blend that will satisfy even the most hardened critic.

Myth: Scrapple is for rednecks and inbred three-toothed losers living in trailer parks.

Reality: In truth, people from every walk of life live, love, and breathe scrapple, from supermodels to garbage collectors, from celebrities to hobos, from Maine to Mississippi. Scrapple is a great unifier on so many levels.

Myth: Scrapple is mushy and tastes like solidified vomit.

Reality: As with many things in life, it’s not the product that lacks, but the producer! People eat scrapple prepared in a variety of ways; my favorite is sliced thin and pan-fried to a crisp, with a side of ketchup for dippin’!

Myth: Scrapple should be banned from the breakfast table.

Reality: If you ban scrapple, what’s next? Cantaloupe? Corn flakes? Wheat germ?? I say, make my breakfast table a microcosm of utopic society. One where every food has its place in the great cornucopia. Where all foods may be open, vulnerable, and savory; living harmoniously until hastily devoured by a hungover college student in some diner.