Scrapple: Myth vs. Reality

To many, scrapple is a dark, vile, breakfast mystery meat, endlessly passed over in the grocery aisles, shunned on diner menus, and picketed at the processing plants. Over the years, scrapple’s reputation has been tarnished by so much bad information. It’s time to set the record straight, and bring the love back to scrapple by setting the BM spotlight on some harsh myths perpetuated by the haters:

Myth: Scrapple is just horrible meat scraps left over from the slaughter machines pressed, packaged, and sold on the open market to fools.

Reality: Although scrapple is technically made from such previously thought unusable meat leftovers as pig snouts and hooves, cow necks, chicken feet, and a variety of gizzards and tongue parts, there are craftspeople who carefully devise the correct portions of these items into a creatively concocted blend that will satisfy even the most hardened critic.

Myth: Scrapple is for rednecks and inbred three-toothed losers living in trailer parks.

Reality: In truth, people from every walk of life live, love, and breathe scrapple, from supermodels to garbage collectors, from celebrities to hobos, from Maine to Mississippi. Scrapple is a great unifier on so many levels.

Myth: Scrapple is mushy and tastes like solidified vomit.

Reality: As with many things in life, it’s not the product that lacks, but the producer! People eat scrapple prepared in a variety of ways; my favorite is sliced thin and pan-fried to a crisp, with a side of ketchup for dippin’!

Myth: Scrapple should be banned from the breakfast table.

Reality: If you ban scrapple, what’s next? Cantaloupe? Corn flakes? Wheat germ?? I say, make my breakfast table a microcosm of utopic society. One where every food has its place in the great cornucopia. Where all foods may be open, vulnerable, and savory; living harmoniously until hastily devoured by a hungover college student in some diner.